Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
