you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
