and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
