you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
