You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize