I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
