apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize