I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
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I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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