the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
