but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My breasts were aching with rage.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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