Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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