Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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