Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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