on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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