It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
its not stalking. its research.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
