bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
