We're facebook friends in real life
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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