just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
