I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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