The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
