She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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