How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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