She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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