Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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