I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
