Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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