Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
are you so shy because you have an std?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I can't put those talents on a resume
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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