Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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