Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's Friday. Sex?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
