I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
