don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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