No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
