If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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