Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
