im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
