I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
