To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
