need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize