$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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