I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
