this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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