we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
