Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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