I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
