yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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