i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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