Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
