id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
