Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
