Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
