i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
