right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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