Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize