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I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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