You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
