so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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