u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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