Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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